Dear AsamiDear Asami by CelticBlood
I could hear my mom's voice before I saw her, she had that sort of laugh that filled the room and that sort of voice that could travel for mile. It was sweet and soft something I loved about her, and it was something that reminded me of someone else. Looking down at my legs I could feel myself wondering if I'll ever walk again, I used to walk right? I did? Sometimes I wonder if having the ability to walk...if being the avatar had happened to another person. Someone who was just not me. "Korra, there you are" her smile was so warm all i could do was manage a small smile in return. "The Mail just arrived, you have a letter here from Future Industries i bet its from Asami!". There it was, the mere mention of your name and my heart did a back flip, "thanks mom" I manage to say to her as I accept the letter as calmly as possible.
Rolling into my room I shut the door and turned on the oil lamps by my desk. For a moment I held the crimson envelope in my hand and admired the way your curling s
Strung OutI know i'm just a tool in this game made for fools,Strung Out by CelticBlood
but how long did you expect love to outweigh ignorance?
Your actions have forced the scales to tip,
I remember tears in your eyes when you said you'd never let me go,
now the war inside my mind is waging on,
floating out in the darkness all alone, you punish me like a criminal,
torture me for flaws,
you had no right to be judge and jury, to sentence without just cause.
So now the darkness has killed my light as you turn your back on me,
this is the last time I allow hope to be born and to die,
i wont let you see me cry anymore.
So if i scream, i'll scream, knowing you don't care.
Actions speak louder and i bleed for you while you stop and stare,
fingers pointed at the beast behind the cage, i can hear your laughter through my pain,
you were my future killing the pain of the past now your killing me slowly day by day.
You say one thing then do the opposite,
you want me to understand but dont care to explain,
you punish me over and o
LightLight by CelticBlood
When you left me broken,
Bleeding on the floor,
When you ended the chapter,
When you closed the door,
A hand so gentle helped me,
A angel from my fantasies,
Locked in the darkness of our tragedy,
She found me,
Hair the colour of fire,
She sets my soul alight,
And reminds me of desire,
For love and the will to fight,
You turned from me and she struggles to make me see,
That not everyone gives up on me,
So long I've stumbled lost in the night,
But thanks to her...i see the light.
So much has happened since I last wrote on this blog, school swiftly took over my life and my shifts at work have been getting longer with each passing day. For a time Ryan and I danced around the idea of getting back together, he kept me dangling rather cruelly till the very last second. When he admitted to loving her my friend, it was the final straw. He had told me he loved only me and wanted me back, when he said not more then a day later he loved her and told me her fiance and her had broken up. (It was a open relationship.) I saw red, and for the first time since this all began i lost my temper. I Threw his ring at him and yelled rather loudly at him "Go fuck himself", before i left to go cool down. While any outburst of any kind is considered ill advised I still do not regret my actions. He deserved some level of humiliation that I have been suffering. Though since that moment, where I felt myself let go it was as if the moment i threw the ring at him i was throwing my attachment to him away as well. I feel...better. Better then I have in months.
I love him that much is still true but I'm looking towards the future with a positive attitude. It will be four months october since the breakup and in time i think i'll be ready to date. The only tricky part is the people I want to date...well they are girls haha!. To anyone who knows me It's no secret that I am bisexual but when I attempted to come out to my mother this past weekend it didn't go well. I managed to cover things up for the sake of sanity so we can move on and I can feel safe in my home.
That being said, school is going alright. Its stressful and painful and depressing and my anxiety attacks are up. I've been put on heart medication to help sooth my speeding heart when it threatens to run off the rails since the increased speed is causing damage. Work is alright and I am applying for different jobs, while making plans for a weekend in the city for my 22nd birthday.
The best news is in ten days I will be attending the New York Comic Con with the most beautiful and lovely girl on my arm. We are attending as Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, naturally I am portraying Harley.
Weight loss is honestly the most frustrating thing, I continue to lose inches while pounds stubbornly stay on. I'm working hard though so we shall see. I look good, i actually need to buy an outfit or two that can show off my figure-i actually have a figure now XP. This week I am seeing a new doctor to look at my spine and see what can be done to fix or alleviate some of the pain.
Its been a crazy couple of weeks, it really has been. I've felt like I am losing my mind but when I woke up this morning despite all the heartbreak depression and pain, I knew one thing;